


But darling, stay with me.

by puppybusby



Series: 9 days of Christmas [9]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: F/F, I am so sorry, Miscommunication, POV Lydia, death happens offscreen, insecure Lydia, this is super angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-22
Updated: 2015-12-22
Packaged: 2018-05-08 13:03:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5497964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/puppybusby/pseuds/puppybusby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Would Allison even stay? Would she stay if Lydia asked her?</p>
            </blockquote>





	But darling, stay with me.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so first of all i am _so sorry_  
>  I love you all  
> Please don't hate and or kill me  
> You should also listen to [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7egYKkIKqDs)  
> Title taken from Stay with me by Sam Smith (though the Ed Sheeran version is A+)

 

 

When Lydia had gotten home from work, she was cold, hungry and stressed. Christmas had never been her favourite holiday but as she had gotten older it had just become even more of a burden.

Allison had made it easier, for a while.

Allison helped with cooking, she always knew what to buy everybody else and she was always there to hold Lydia when it got too cold.

She loves Allison. They started dating in their senior year of high school and have been together since. Seven years have passed and Lydia knows she loves Allison just as much, if not more, than she did when they first got together...  
  
...But she wonders if Allison feels the same way.  
  
The house is dark when she returns, cold. The first thing she does after dropping her bag and kicking off her shoes is head straight for the heater and turns it up before running upstairs to get changed, settling for one of Allison's old sweaters and one of her own pairs of jeans. She pulls the cuffs down over her hands, staring at the faded black hearts covering the sweater as she makes her way downstairs to make herself some tea.  
  
It's not that she had been expecting Allison to be home, she woks at the station and her shifts often run late because of her habit of forgetting to do paperwork until the very last minute.

But for the past few weeks, Lydia can't help but feel like Allison is spending more time at the station then she does at home and Lydia can't figure out why.  
  
It's not like they need the money, with their combined income they both make enough to live comfortably in their two bedroom house.

And okay, maybe Allison is doing it because she loves her work, she loves helping people. Feeling like she's making a change. It's one of her most endearing traits.

Lydia sighed to herself as she settles down on the sofa, turning on the TV before folding her legs underneath her and holding her mug of tea close to herself.

If Allison was just working extra shifts, it still wouldn't explain why she had been so... Shifty, recently. Sneaking around and ignoring phone calls whenever she was around.  
  
Lydia couldn't bear to think that Allison would cheat on her, that she would even consider doing that to Lydia.  
  
The pack would know if she was, they wouldn't let Allison do that. Even if it was someone within the pack she was with.  
  
Lydia tried to force herself to shake the thought from her mind, to focus on happier memories and found herself thinking about the first time they had kissed.

 

It had been after a fight with the creature of the week, Allison had gotten injured from shoving Lydia out the way of the line of fire and once it was all over, Lydia had taken her home because Allison had wanted to avoid her father scolding her for being reckless. She remembered the way her hands had been shaking as she cleaned Allison's shoulder and how Allison had been completely silent until Lydia finally broke because it was the second time Allison had nearly died because of her and it had just been too much.  
  
It had been too much until Allison had wiped away her tears and kissed her softly. Wrapping her arms around her and pulling her into a hug that hasn't changed for seven years. It had been a night of confessions and had been the start of their relationship.  
  
The scar was still there, from that night, a jagged slash across her shoulder that Lydia often found herself tracing in the moments where it was exposed.

 

Lydia didn't realise that she had been crying until she heard the door open and close.  
  
“Lyds?”  
  
Lydia wiped at her eyes as best as she could and cleared her throat. “In here!”  
  
Allison's head appeared around the door, snowflakes clung to her hair and she flashed a warm smile at Lydia that made her heart soar. “Hey,” She greeted. “You okay?”  
  
Lydia nodded. “I'm fine. How was work?”  
  
“Busy.” Allison replied, stepping into the room slightly and faltering when she glanced down at her phone. “I actually have to head back out in a minute.”

“Isn't your shift over?” Lydia asked.  
  
Allison nodded, gaze flickering away from Lydia's for a moment. “It is, this isn't to do with work.” She reached up to rub at the back of her neck, an obvious tell that she was nervous or hiding something. “I need to get something from the store. Before it closes.”  
  
Lydia nodded slowly, taking a sip of her tea to hide her grimace and only making it worse when she realised that the contents of her mug had gone cold at some point during her reminiscing. She set it down on the coffee table. “What do you need?”

“Antifreeze.” Allison replied immediately. “It's supposed to get really icy.” She flashed Lydia another smile, too bright, too enthusiastic, and turned away.  
  
Lydia listened as Allison made her way up the stairs to their room and buried her face in her hands, taking a long, shaking breath. After a few moments she got up and walked over to the storage closet, opening it and flicking on the light.

Surely enough, on the floor in the corner of the room, was a bottle of antifreeze.

Lydia willed the tears not to fall.

She doesn't know what possessed her to do it, but Lydia found herself walking towards their room and standing in the doorway as she got changed, pulling on a clean shirt and there- just for a moment, her scar, still there and still a reminder of that night.  
  
Allison turned away from the closet and faltered in her footsteps as she saw Lydia, she smiled, even if her gaze was a little questioning. “What?” She asked.  
  
Lydia shook her head. “I love you.” She said, and if her voice trembled a bit, she did a damn good job of making sure that it wasn't obvious.

Allison still looked confused, but her smile shifted to something more genuine, happier, as she moved closer. “I love you too.” She replied and then she was leaning in, brushing Lydia's hair from her face and kissing her. Lydia wrapped her arms around Allison's waist, pulling her closer, impossibly closer, memorising the way their bodies fit together effortlessly, as though if she held Allison close enough maybe that would be enough. Maybe she could still be enough for Allison.

Allison pulled away, brushing their noses together for a brief second and Lydia didn't want to let her go, she never wanted to let her go. This was the person that she loved, that she trusted more than anyone else in the world.  
  
Lydia had given Allison her heart and it felt like she was giving it her back, piece by broken piece.  
  
“I'll be back soon, I promise. I'll even pick up Thai food.”  
  
Lydia let her go and forced a smile. “That sounds good.”  
  
When had it come to this? When had things changed so much that suddenly Allison couldn't talk to her, couldn't be truthful to her? Had they grown apart so much and so fast that Lydia hadn't noticed? Or had it been there the entire time, right there for her to see but she ignored it until it was right here in front of her as she followed the woman she loved towards the front door as she prepared to leave to go God knows where to see God knows who.  
  
Allison grabbed her keys and pulled open the door, Lydia felt the chill immediately and before she stepped out of the door, Lydia considered asking her to stay. To please, _please_ don't leave. Whatever happened, they could fix. They weren't her parents. Lydia couldn't just walk away from this, she couldn't walk away from Allison.  
  
Would Allison even stay? Would she stay if Lydia asked her?  
  
Allison smiles at her and closes the door, Lydia stares at it.

 

“Stay, please.”  
  


 

  
She makes another mug of tea even though she knows that she won't drink it. If she's right, if Allison is cheating on her, then why is she still here? Is it because of Christmas is coming up? She doesn't want to deal with the added stress of moving out so she's waiting until after the holidays to end it?

Lydia looks through pictures of them on facebook. Their first real date. The stolen kisses caught by the rest of the pack, the double dates with Scott and Kira. The group photos where they only have eyes for each other.  
  
She wondered who it would be, the hypothetical other person. Did they know that Allison is scared of thunder? Do they know that her favourite movie is Breakfast at Tiffany's and that she can quote it word for word? That when she has nightmares the only way to calm her down is to stroke her hair? Do they know the stories behind her scars? Did they fall in love with her eyes like she had?

It's not fair, for her to accuse Allison of crimes that she hasn't committed. She has no real evidence for her claims beyond Allison's sudden need for antifreeze when they already have some.  
  
It's just that she can't stop her mind from thinking about it, that maybe everything around her is doomed to wither and die, that she shouldn't have clung to Allison in the first place. Her family is cursed. Love, true love has always felt like an idea just out of arms reach for her but she had dared to hope. Allison did that. She gave you hope when there was none.

 

 

Almost an hour had passed when Lydia's phone began to ring, Allison's face flashing up at her. Lydia swallowed before picking up her phone and sliding the bar across to answer it.  
  
There was silence on the other line for a few seconds before she recognised the sound of breathing, slow, steady.  
  
_“Lyds?”_  
  
Lydia sniffed. “Hey, Alli.”  
  
_“I'm sorry Lyds.”_ Allison muttered. _“I... I might be a little late coming home.”_

Lydia bit down on her bottom lip to keep it from trembling. “Okay.” she replied, her voice breaking.  
  
_“I- Wait, Lyds, are you okay?”_  
  
“Yeah.” Lydia said, swallowing down the tears. “I'm fine.”  
  
_“I love you, Lydia. I'm sorry, I'm sorry I've been working so much.”_  
  
Lydia sat up a little straighter. “What?”  
  
_“I... I know I've been working so much and I don't want you to think that I would ever, ever, want you to feel like less than your true worth-”_ She broke off suddenly into a coughing fit, it was a wet, painful sound and Lydia could only assume that she was getting sick. _“I love you Lydia. I always have and I always will. I'm sorry if I've hurt you. You're the love of my life.”_  
  
“...And you're mine.” Lydia replied. “I love you Allison.”  
  
They both fell silent, Lydia could still only hear the sound of Allison's breathing. She wasn't cheating on her. That much Lydia was almost certain of, there was still some doubt in the back of her mind but what Allison was saying... She must have just been working extra shifts. Lydia feels a stab of guilt for even thinking that Allison would cheat.  
  
In the background of the call, Lydia heard a siren and Allison let out a long breath. _“I have to go Lydia.”_ She said. _“Remember what I told you okay? I love you.”_  
  
“I... I love you too.” Lydia replied, wiping under her eyes again. “Come home soon, okay?”  
  
Allison sniffed. _“I love you, Lydia.”_  
  
The line went dead and Lydia could only stare at it for a few moments, a strange sense of unease settling in her chest just as the clock hit nine. It had been an emotional few hours, she reasoned.

 

 

A little after half past nine, there was a knock at the door. It wasn't the fast paced knock that any of the pack used, it was slow and precise and Lydia felt like she was running on autopilot as she stood up and walked over to answer it.  
  
She opened the door to reveal a grim faced Sheriff Stilinski. Lydia felt something in her chest break.  
  
“Sheriff? What are you doing here.”  
  
“Lydia...” He began and it was there, it was in his tone. Gentle and mournful as though he were dealing with something fragile. “I'm sorry, there's been an accident.”  
  
She shook her head, taking a step away and holding her hands up towards the Sheriff. “No.”  
  
He stepped through the threshold, his hands raised, bracing himself to support her. “It's Allison.”  
  
“Sheriff, stop.” Her back hit the wall. There was nowhere else to go.  
  
The grief in his eyes only seemed to increase and it may be the lighting but she thought she could see tears there.  
  
She could feel her own tears building.  
  
“I'm sorry Lydia-”  
  
“Stop.”  
  
“She didn't make it.”  
  
Lydia shut her eyes, shaking her head and she could feel his hands on her arms, supporting her. She couldn't feel her legs.  
  
She couldn't feel much of anything.

 

She realised eventually that she was sobbing, full body sobs that left her gasping for breath as she registered the sheriff holding her steady.

 

 

It couldn't be real.

 

 

  
It couldn't be real.

 

  
Could it?

  
It felt like it took forever, to make her mind focus for long enough to find words, even longer for her to find the energy to form them.  
  
“Where is she?”

 

 

 

The sheriff drives her.  
  
  
The words filter in and out.

 

“ _....Car had hit a tree...”_

  
_“...Pulled over... Tried to help...”_

  
_“...Couldn't have seen the other car coming...”_

  
_“...She made the call...”_

  
_“...Derek was first on the scene...”_  
  
  
  
The pack are on their way. The sheriff had told her that as he took her to Melissa. She looked like she had been crying too and all sense of professionalism went out of the window the moment she hugged Lydia.

She knew Derek was in the hospital too. First to respond along with the ambulance.  
  
Melissa gripped her hand as she led her to the morgue. To the room.  
  
“You don't have to do this.” Melissa said as they stopped side by side. She could make out the shape of the body under the sheet. “Chris is on his way, he can-”  
  
Lydia shook her head, more tears falling. She had long since stopped trying to wipe them away. “I need to see her.”  
  
Melissa looked like she was going to cry again, but she nodded. She pulled the sheet back and-  
  
Allison.  
  
God, it was her.  
  
Her scar was there and Lydia reached out, brushed her fingers across the mark, just like she would do when Allison was asleep.  
  
She looked like she was sleeping.

“How... How bad was it?” Lydia asked. The rest of Allison was covered, she didn't want to- _couldn't,_ look.  
  
Melissa's hand was on her shoulder, warm and comforting in a way that Allison could never be again and God, was it only two hours ago she was holding her in her arms and wishing for reasons to never let go?  
  
“There was nothing they could do.” Melissa replied quietly. “She was... She was gone by the time she got here.”

Lydia hung her head, her shoulders shook with the force of her tears. She lets Melissa wrap her arms around her and hug her but it doesn't feel right, how could it?  
  
“I don't want to leave her.” Lydia admitted through her tears, she was leaving a stain on Melissa's shoulder.  
  
“I know. It's okay.”  
  
Lydia shook her head. “It'll never be okay again.” She pulled away from Melissa. “Can I have a minute?”  
  
Melissa opened her mouth to reply, but was cut off by the door opening and Derek stepping in, his eyes were red from crying and blood stained his uniform, Lydia couldn't look at it.  
  
“Derek, you shouldn't be here.” Melissa said.  
  
His eyes lingered on Allison's body for a few moments before settling on Lydia. “I need to talk to you. It's important.”  
  
Lydia began to shake her head. She couldn't just leave, she couldn't leave Allison she-  
  
Melissa's hand came to rest on her back. “It's okay. I'll stay with her.”  
  
  
  
She let herself be led out of the room with Derek.  
  
“I'm sorry Lydia. I tried. I tried to help her.” He dropped his head. He was probably crying again.  
  
“Why did you need to talk to me?” Lydia asked.  
  
It took Derek a few moments to compose himself but when he did, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. “She left me a message, a while ago.” He hit a few buttons and held out the phone towards her.  
  
_“Der! Listen, do you have antifreeze? I'm about to go to the store to pick it up but I told Lydia that I needed antifreeze.”_ She laughed. _“I can't believe this is really happening Derek. Call me!”_  
  
Lydia stared at Derek. It felt like she felt nothing and everything at once. Allison's laugh echoed through her mind and she sounded so happy, so excited.  
  
“She...” Derek reached into his pocket again, hesitated, and pulled something else out. “She was holding these when I- When she-” He handed her Allison's phone, the screen was cracked but it was unlocked, it still showed Lydia's contact details, like it always did after she called someone.  
  
Did she...  
  
She did, didn't she?  
  
Derek pressed something else into her hand, something small, sturdy and soft all at once and she looked down and felt everything in her _stop._  
  
A velvet box.  
  
She couldn't tear her eyes off of it.  
  
Lydia opened it and let herself sag against the wall as she stared at the ring.  
White gold, the band twisting around diamonds.”  
  
“She's been- She... She worked so much to afford it.” Derek said but Lydia could barely pay attention to his words.  
  
  
  
She turned from him and walked back into the room, glancing up from the ring to Melissa and she didn't need to say anything. Melissa knew. She nodded and left, leaving Lydia alone with Allison.

 

Lydia reached under the sheet and took Allison's hand in her own, she wished she could see those eyes. Just one more time.

  
  
She slipped the ring onto her finger. It fit perfectly.  
  
  
  
All this time, Allison had just wanted to propose.  
  
  
  
She spent her last minutes telling Lydia she loved her. She must have known, she must have known from the moment it happened that she wasn't going to make it.  
  
  
  
Lydia stroked her fingers through Allison's hair and leant over to press a kiss to her forehead.

  
  
There had been so much left to say, so much left unsaid between them.

 

 

  
  
  
  
  
She would have said yes.  


 

**Author's Note:**

> HO HO HOLY SHIT I AM SO SORRY  
> Rain/Snow  
> ALLISON DOES NOT FARE WELL WHEN THINGS FALL FROM THE SKY


End file.
